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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

So now a little bit about the parents

I have to say I have the best parents ever.  They truly lived for their children and then their grandchildren. 

I followed in my mothers footsteps and had my kids later in life, so they had to wait along time. Once the twins came my parents were over joyed.  However they had hit their 80's and were not able to help in the way they had dreamed of. 

Did I wish they could do more to help care for them? Yes.  Did it matter? No.  They were over all the time playing, loving and supporting all of us. Once it was too hard for them to come here we went there. 

Slowly, naturally, and without even noticing the roles switched.

Where once when Grandpa was the only one that could sooth and lull 9 month old Tori to sleep when she was sick.  Now Tori is the one that runs to sit next to Grandpa and hold and cuddle him.  Bringing a much needed joy and light to his day.  Grammy was the one who would soothe PJ's tears after a fall.  Now he keeps an eye on her every time she walks with her walker, reminding her to watch her step and feel for the chair on the back of her legs before she sits.

Even though the roles are reversed the twins still LOVE to spend time with their grandparents.  If I have let too much time go by between visits (which happens more often then it should...but when I spend most of the day there helping them I sometimes find it too tiring to go back again with the bad) they hound me until we go.

I worry that this reversal of roles is not good for the twins.  Then I think of all the other cultures where this is the norm.  And I reflect on how much love and happiness is in the air when they are there and I am sure it is good for all of them.

As their needs grow and their funds dwindle I wonder if it is time to combine households. But I worry for the relationship between them. Will the love be strong enough to bare the burden?  Will it be too hard to watch them get weaker?  Will the twins activity and noise level be too much for my parents on a 24/7 basis?  Or will it breath much needed light and laughter into their now restricted lives.

So this is another reason I have started this blog.  To put all of this out there.  It's here to help me review and reflect.  It's here to hopefully help others dealing with the same issues...And maybe they can help me?

Oh, and today, Tori's bunny (who I bought out of guilt one day because I knew their Nanna- my husbands mother- was in the hospital dieing.) peed in my eye!

1 comment:

  1. Dana, you made me cry. The role reversal can be so traumatic to experience - as a child, you become the parent. But in the end, it is all about family. And, love.